My 86 Pontiac - They Built Excitement

Recently I've been seeing buzz around the internet that GM wants to make a more concerted effort to take the Pontiac division back to it's performance roots, making the entire line up of cars exclusively rear wheel drive. Personally, I think it's a great idea. If the new Pontiac Solstice is any indication as to where the division may be heading, then the Performance Division of General Motors may have hope yet to regaining some credibility back as the maker of true driver oriented, interesting autos like the 60s GTOs and the late model F-Body Trans Ams.

But during a different era for GM and the auto industry in general, back in 1986, my Mom and Dad and I needed a new family car. My Dad was actually working with Malcolm Bricklin trying to set up a dealer network for Yugo America, the American importer of the infamous Yugoslavian economy car and my Mom worked for Welcome Wagon - welcoming new people into our town of Strongsville, Ohio. At the time, our hand me down 1978 Buick Regal was on it's last legs, and my parents finally had the wherewithall to start seriously considering a new car again. My Dad wanted a Buick Grand National, but after my Mom got some insurance quotes, and realized that the car was basically an insanely fast Buick Regal, decided that it wasn't all that practical. Having many dealer friends and contacts from years at GM and now working with Yugo, my Dad found a brand new 86 Pontiac Parisienne on one if his dealer's lots in Irwin, Pa. (Hamilton Pontiac I believe).

After taking the 2 hour drive from Cleveland with my Dad squished into his company car Yugo, we arrived in Irwin at the dealership to pick up the new ride, sight unseen (by my Mom and I), to drive it back to Cleveland. I recall my first impression of the car, not actually realizing that Pontiac still carried the "B-body" GM platform (Buick and Olds already dropped this platform from their lineup in favor of a front wheel drive platform), was, "this thing is big!". At that point, Pontiac was still carrying basically a dressed up version of practically every Chevrolet available. I instantly fell in love though, as I knew that we were essentially taking the last of the large rear drive, body on frame Pontiacs ever built. I was giddy with excitement.

It was certainly not a ground breaking piece of machinery. I imagine that even by mid 80s standards, the body on frame design and solid rear axle were already starting to be considered pretty outdated for your mainstream family sedan - Honda and Toyota weren't as large as they are now, but they were starting to sell fairly good in those days, and most of the domestic family sedans were front wheel drive too. Moreover, 1986 was the first year of the Ford Taurus, a radical departure in design from almost every other domestic sedan built that year. But this Parisienne had some major style. It looked like a Cadillac - it really did. The wire wheels, the leather interior, the chrome door handles on the inside and super sweet fender skirts (which I believe was probably one of the only cars offered during the 80s with that particular styling feature), made this thing look insanely ostentatious, but in a very cool way I thought. It also featured a Pontiac Firebird 5.0 liter V8 with a large 4-barrel carburetor. For it's size and era, it was actually a fairly quick car. From a dead standstill, this car could keep up with my friend's 1991 V8 Ford Thunderbird (up until about 60, then the T-Bird would start pulling away) - I know obviously, because we drag raced the two cars when I was in 11th grade. We were both shocked, as was my passenger and his. How could that be? Well, this particular Parisienne was ordered with an optional trailer towing package, which for 1986, included larger shocks, a stiffer anti-roll bar, beefed up radiator and a much lower gear ratio ratio - which made this car actually "perform" quite well.

In high school, I was shocked to discover the one thing that consistently blew my mind about this car - it was fucking fast. Seriously, from a dead standstill I could break the rear wheels loose, which put a shit eating grin on my 17 year old face every time I did it. I have no idea what the actual 0-60 was on this hefty piece of machinery, but it had to be in the mid to high 7s on a cool day, which was incredible by 1986 standards, especially for a car of it's size.

This car soaked up long stretches of highway like a beach towel on spilled keg beer. The dash was long, flat and allowed for a front seating area that could sit three across in quite a bit of comfort. Cars don't have this kind of feel to them today. As I mentioned with the 82 Regal I drove before this car, I sort of miss that. The back seat was the same way, three across was no problem, and the seats were fairly comfy too. No, it wasn't built for high speed twisties like a BMW or Audi, but it would please any family who wanted to drive from Texas to California in (relative to the times) style and comfort. This was a very fancy Chevy Caprice, but it was actually much nicer. I liked this car.

I drove the car during 11th grade and I felt like I was seriously King of the Parking Lot (hehehe). Nobody else had a 1986 Pontiac Parisienne. It was an unusual car, most Pontiacs in the early 90s were small and still somewhat ubiquitous, but not this machine - it stood out, and had a shit load of character. I called it a hoopty actually. But this car wasn't embarrassing at all. It was my Mom's car for years, my car for a year, and it was the car that transported me, a young and excited 13 year old kid from Ohio to where I live now in Houston back in the summer of 1988. This was an important car in my personal history. I fell in love with the American V8 with this car, and I knew there would be no changing my mind - that no matter where GM decided to take the Pontiac division in the future, that back in 1986, making a fancy Chevy Caprice would make a young man root for the division's legitimate comeback into the minds and hearts of the automotive enthusiast world. Who would have thought this would be the car to do it?